From: Anonymous

Dear Rabbi,

To be honest, I am not a very giving person. I know I am more of a taker than a giver. Most people consider this a bad thing, but really I think it makes more sense. Still, I was wondering if you had any insights for me.

Dear Anonymous,

There was once a certain miser who never gave but always took. One day he fell off a bridge into the river below. As he was about to drown, someone noticed him and shouted, “Give me your hand!” The miser answered, “I never give anything to anybody!” “In that case”, he said, “Take my hand!” The miser took hold of the man’s hand and was saved.

This story illustrates the Jewish outlook on the reciprocity between giving and receiving. A person is apt to think that giving results in loss. But in reality, without giving, one will ultimately drown in solitude and anonymity. Giving, on the other hand, initiates a dynamic process of mutual sharing with others that ultimately reaps great rewards. Giving is an investment with great dividends.

The Torah expresses this idea in the wording used to describe the Jewish People’s contribution to the tabernacle. The verse sates, “And they gave” (Ex. 30:12). The Hebrew term used is “v’natnu” which is spelled ‘vav-nun-tav-nun-vav’. This word is spelled exactly the same read forward and backward, expressing the idea that giving initiates a reciprocal process resulting in receiving.

In fact, giving is so great that G‑d’s name ‘yod-hey-vav-hey’ actually infuses the very act of giving. Consider a person giving a coin of charity to someone in need. The round coin in the giver’s hand corresponds to the round letter ‘yod’ of G‑d’s name. The five fingers of the giver’s hand correspond to the letter ‘hey’ whose gematria (numerical equivalent) is five. His outstretched arm forms the shape of the straight letter ‘vav’. The five fingers of the recipient’s hand correspond the final ‘hey’ of G‑d’s name. And so the circuit is completed, energizing giving with the Divine Presence.

I’ll conclude with a very instructive parable:

Once a person was given a preview of the afterlife. In the chamber identified to him as hell, he saw people seated at a great banquet with the most aromatic and delicious looking food. He thought to himself, “This doesn’t seem so bad.” However as he got a closer look, he realized that everyone was craving for the food set before them, but they couldn’t eat it because each person had poles fastened to his arms such that he couldn’t bend his elbows to put the food in his mouth.

He was then taken to the chamber of heaven. There he saw the same scene. There were people seated around a great banquet of aromatic and delectable food. But to his surprise, they all had rods bound to their arms as well. Nevertheless, everyone was partaking of the meal. How so? Even though nobody could feed himself, since each was accustomed to give to others while alive, each was able to reach across the table to feed, and to be fed, by the person opposite to him!

Those who view giving as a loss and are only concerned about satiating their own desires will be perpetually frustrated by their paralyzing pursuit of pleasure. But people who give to others will develop a habit that ensures eternal receiving.